Shyness is a treat that many possess, and it has good and bad sides. Shy people are in most cases not very talkative and will pull back in the conversation. This may be the reason why some struggle to find a partner since it may be hard to establish a connection in a short time.
There are some tips and tricks which can help with building up self-esteem as well as decreasing social anxiety that can be present in these individuals. It is important not to beat yourself up and try to get a hand of a situation.
1. Online services
The good way to practice your conversational skills and flirting is in the online world. It will give you enough anonymity to make you feel relaxed and embrace yourself. Since the online chat services provide chatting and hanging out, you may find it interesting that most people who are there are shy in the real world and feel more comfortable engaging and keeping a conversation.
Not only that this kind of conversation will liberate you, but you will increase your self-esteem and increase your vocabulary, expand the topics for conversation and even feel more comfortable in flirting. It is very important to give yourself time and keep the pace that feels right. It is normal to feel awkward at first, but as time passes by it will become more and more pleasant.
There are many websites and apps that will offer a lot of different kinds of services, from casual conversations to dating and casual meets. It is advisable to do the research and start slow, discovering one by one as your self-esteem builds up. When doing the research it is important to pick the websites that will protect your personal data, so choose wisely. One of the websites that are offering casual meets and chats is phonesexnumbers, if this seems like your cup of tea, give it a try.
Do not forget, click bravely and be brave.
2. Non-verbal communication
As you know, communication between people has two components, the first one is what we say, and the rest is how we act while saying this. The body has ways of telling more than words if you know where to look. So after mastering conversational skills, it can be useful to learn a few tricks when it comes to body language. Most of these non-verbal cues are registered on the subconscious level, and some will refer to it as a specific feeling or that moment when you just know that something is off. When it comes to posture, try to keep it straight and not to look down.
Even if you do not feel like it, fake it till you make it. It will be easier every time. The posture will show that you are open to communication, and people will perceive you as more approachable. Eye contact is recommendable, and if the one talking with you is not looking into your eyes and is searching for something over your shoulder it may be a tell that the conversation is not where they would like to be. By learning how to recognize these small tells, you will be able to adapt verbal communication with the response of the ones you are talking with. Knowledge is power, so dive into this and try to use it in everyday life.
3. Listening skills
Most of us just want to be heard, a good trait of shy people is that they are in most cases very good listeners since by default they do not talk much. It is good to improve your listening skills since people do love talking and being heard. Most people, who are shy, will be chosen by others as a shoulder to cry on since they do show the most patience and will to hear them out completely without any interruptions. This skill is important as much as conversational skills, since in order to be a good talker; you will need to be a good listener. By following what people are telling us we can come up with the appropriate response and make them feel more comfortable.
One of the postulates of the non-verbal communication is to know when and how to touch the person you are having a conversation with. Some kind of appreciation can be expressed through touch, and this will increase the chances of good communication. One of the so-called rules of non-verbal communication is that the slight touch on the hand can be used to make the one that is talked to more engaged in the conversation and make them believe our words. These light touches are especially important in flirting as establishing the physical connection. So a light touch on the hand can be inviting. Be sure to see if you are not invading the personal space of that particular individual, and read the cues that their body is telling you. If they are moving away, do not engage.
5. Appreciate them
Showing appreciation towards the person you are engaged in the conversation with will increase the chances of pleasant and meaningful conversation. It is always good to vocalize your thoughts and be honest in spoken communication. So, if you had a good time, be open about it and say that. It can make the connection between you two, and that someone will know that they have done a good job. Sometimes it is very important to have a validation of your actions, especially if you are insecure.
Both spoken and unspoken communication between people is important when it comes to interactions. Being shy may be challenging, but by practicing and building self-esteem you will for sure increase the chances of finding a suitable date and having a good time.
Online services like apps and websites may be a good way of practicing spoken communication, and when it comes to the unspoken communication or body language it may be useful to know a trick or two. Being a good listener will for sure grant you some points, and knowing when to use physical interaction such as light and spontaneous touch, will make you appreciated even more. Be sure to show your affection and vocalize if you have had a good time on the date.